Learning To Love Myself Happened By Accident

If someone told me to love myself
after 25 years of feeling loathing, shame, or apathy towards myself, I would have thought they were nuts.
I remember my mom telling me when I was about 5
“You have to love yourself if you want to love others.”
And I thought,
“Well, then I’m screwed because I kind of hate myself.”
Okay, I may not have used that language back then, but you get the point :)
The problem was that I had no concept of self-love.
“What does self-love even mean?”
Then when I would hear about it I’d just feel even worse about myself, because I knew I definitely wasn’t doing it.
OR I would think,
“Yeah, of course, I love myself,” denying the fact that my typical self-talk went a little like
“What is wrong with you”
“Everyone hates you”
“You’re such a loser”
“You’re disgusting”
The way I love myself today did not happen by taking a course on self-love.
It happened by accident by learning and developing the methods that I use to help my clients today.
(If you want to learn the system and methods for yourself, then let me know)
I noticed that the more I
Took the time to connect with myself,
Removed the limiting beliefs,
And the traumas,
The more I saw myself loving myself.
I noticed my self-talk changing to
“You’re doing great”
“I love you”
“You’re so beautiful”
“Of course you can do/have/be that.”
“You can trust this”
This was not on purpose.
These were not affirmations that I posted around my house to trick myself into believing.
They were statements that were inside of me all along that had been deadened by the lies that my false self was telling me.
The false self was the version of me that was created by false beliefs and stories.
Once I started believing in myself and my innate worthiness and deservingness, the false-self quieted and dissolved.
If you have hateful or hurtful self-talk, or you feel the lack of love for yourself,
Then tricking yourself with affirmations alone or doing nice things for yourself may feel good in the moment.
But what’s going to create that deep sense of love for yourself is a bigger process of removing the energy that isn’t yours, and reclaiming what is.
Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash


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